The Proof is in the Footing

Everyone likes to think they know what they are doing and where they are going. We are usually right—most of the time. If the steps we took in life often resulted in error then we would quickly make adjustments. This is called learning.

When I use the term “step” I loosely define it as a decision made to move you from one point in life to the next. But I can think of an example in which I took the wrong step in a literal sense.

It was December, 2005. I was in San Diego, California for the Footlocker National Cross Country meet for high school. This was the pinnacle of my running career thus far and I was ready to show the world what I was made of. I laced up my shoes, put on my focus-face and proceeded to go on a warm-up jog. There was a large field away from the crowd which I immediately headed for. In times like these it’s great to be in solitude.

Mother Nature was on my side as the sun was shining to counter the slight chill of the breeze. An unseen force assured me today was the day for greatness. I ran with the wind at my back feeling invincible, feeling invulnerable. I closed my eyes briefly as I inhaled deeply. “I’m ready.” I lengthened my stride, lowered my chin, and practiced my ‘I’m gonna beat you’ move. One step…two steps…three…

Then the world went black.

Next thing I know, I was flat on my face with a sharp pain originating from my ankle. I stepped in a hole! I looked back in disbelief as if to blame the whole for tripping me. Then I looked around to see if anyone saw. To my dismay, there was an old guy to my right who stopped in his tracks with a startled look on his face. He looked scared. I was the one who experienced the trauma and there he was having an inner conflict about what he should do after witnessing me fall.

I know what he was thinking: “Should I help? What if I look like a creep?” A few moments later I realized my assessment was wrong as he paused, then went about his business. So he was probably actually thinking: “I know I should help but I’m busy. Good thing there’s no one else around to see me abandon her like a jerk.”

So there I was on the ground clutching my ankle, rocking back and forth to ease the pain. I cut an accusatory glance at my adversary (the hole) and realized why I didn’t see it while I was running. The grass was lush and had been cut recently. Unfortunately, the lawn mower must have glided over the hole to make it appear like the grass was the same height as the rest of the field. At this point, I was angry with the world for trying to destroy my dreams. My race was in less than 30 minutes so I hobbled over to the medical tent. With a monotone voice I walked up to the doctor and said “I sprained my ankle in a field. Can you fix me?” What I meant to say was “I’m in a lot of pain! Give me morphine!”

To make matters worse, he poked around and flexed my ankle several times before saying “It doesn’t look that swollen. Are you sure it’s hurting?” A simple “YES” through gritted teeth was enough to get the point across.

After receiving an Advil and some medical tape he sent me on my way. I stood on the starting line with fury in my eyes, determined to take control of my body and win that race no matter what. I could just see myself on the podium with trophy in hand.

The gunman raised the gun. I waited with anticipation. The gun fired and the race was under way. I put my best foot forward.

To make a long story short—I didn’t win. I placed 25^th.

At the time, I was devastated but looking back on it, it’s really funny. I bet you are wondering why I told you that story, right? I promise I will relate it to something. Here it is:

Every human being on the face of the planet takes a wrong step! You’re entitled to at least several in your life. It’s practically your birthright…along with the pursuit of happiness and looking forward to Friday nights. But you can overcome any setback with a change in how you perceive the event.

Locus of Control¹

Are you someone with an internal or external locus of control?

If you have an internal locus of control it means you feel you are in control of the situation and have the power to change your circumstances. Even after experiencing failure, your hope of succeeding outweighs any evidence that you should give up. You don’t blame others for hindering you and you don’t make excuses when things go wrong.

If you have and external locus of control, it means you feel like a victim of your current situation with no way to control it. Failures and setbacks are accompanied with excuses and blaming. This is the type of person that says, “What’s the point? It won’t make a difference.” This type of person will accept failure as a fixed state that will never change no matter how much effort they put into it. Consequently, they put forth no effort at all. They see the outside factors bearing down on them to no end.

Now What?

1. Steer yourself towards greatness by having an internal locus of control. I promise it’s less stressful .

2. Take action. If there is something standing in the way between you and your success or happiness, look at it directly in the eye and say “Move aside!” Don’t do this to your boss (unless you say ‘please’).

3. Look at your setbacks as an opportunity for advancement. You now have knowledge of what you need to do for improvement.

4. Do not kick yourself and call yourself a loser. An honest self-evaluation is good. Self-loathing is bad.

5. If you find that your self-esteem and motivation have taken a massive blow, step back, reevaluate, recuperate, communicate, and try again. Talk to a friend if it helps.

The next time you face a setback challenge yourself to get back on track. A wrong step doesn’t have to be your last step. The worst thing I could have done would be to throw in the towel after I stepped in that hole. I’ll never know if I could have gotten 1^st place on a perfect day or not but making the decision to try had a positive impact on my life.

When you control your perception of a bad event you are destined for greatness.

¹Locus of Control: the concept of internal and external locus of control was developed by Julian B. Trotter in 1954.